Halli Ann's birth story
Hello world.
Once my doc got there and everything was ready, I started pushing at 12:15 am. I Was not prepared for how intense pushing was going to be. Tyler was a fabulous coach. He got right up in my face while holding my leg up and helped me focus on getting our little girl out. I was so glad to only have had to push for 15 minutes! At 12:33 am June 9th little Halli Ann 7 Lbs. 2 oz. 18 in. entered my line of vision and it felt like a dream. Literally though I was so faint from pushing, it all felt soo surreal and I couldn't believe it. They placed her on my belly and I felt her warm wet wriggling tiny body and heard her precious little cry. Oh my. Words can't describe! Tyler was an excellent photographer.
and who have just been an amazing support/help!! So glad they are our neighbors!
loves her carseat. She'll sleep hours on end during the day without waking up to feed if I let her. Silly girl, why not at night too?
Yes, it's a miraculous thing having a baby that is all yours with the man you love. We love her so much and can't believe she's ours. She's so perfect.
I have missed you.
I have entered this new all consuming life called parenthood...here is how it happened:
As most of you faithful readers know, my cervix was dangerously short the last half of my pregnancy which caused me to be 3.5 cm dilated and almost fully effaced at 36 weeks. Well I continued to dilate and efface for 3 more weeks after that without any consistent painful contractions.
At my 39 week appt June 8th, I was dilated to a 6.
So Doc said, "okay, I think it's time to have this baby!!"
Those words, oh those beautiful words, were what I had been waiting to hear for what seems like a very long time. I could barely contain myself! I called Tyler and he couldn't believe it! Seriously, it felt like the day was never going to come. So I picked him up from work, got some lunch at Subway, stopped off at home for last minute items and were off to the hospital!
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| Last prego pic in front of the wall. 39 weeks! |
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| Do i look prepared? |
Of course that day had to be the busiest day of the week for labor and delivery. We waited nearly 3 hours in the waiting room for a room. Since I wasn't in any pain and was being induced, they put me pretty low on the list. But the fact that we were even there at all made up for all the waiting in the world! I was just so excited to be having a baby!
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At 5 we were finally admitted yay!
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| glorious labor and delivery room. Loved those windows! |
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| and so did Tyler haha. What a cutie =) |
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| Goodbye big belly |
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| Tyler's mama |
5:30 got the pitocin drip going.
Oh the dreadful IV. Hated the IV. Out of the whole birth experience, the IV was the worst part. Not only did it hurt getting placed, there were some complications near the end and my nurse had to flush it with saline and oh my heavens. I watched my veins twitch in pain and might I add, my wrist is still sore. Never again do I want to deal with an IV ever again. I will take the epidural any day over the IV!
Anyways I got the epidural around 8:30 because my doc was going to break my water at 9. And I was getting to be quite uncomfortable. Ladies, the epidural was cake!! I missed it very badly once it started to wear off after birth. I was soo nervous to get it but knew I wanted it. Couldn't believe how painless and easy it was. Love modern medicine!
I was able to enjoy the company of many friends thanks to the epidural! Our good friends Jeff&Lauren and also our good friends from high school! Lots of peeps but I loved the company. Such an exciting time! =)
They were in the waiting room for the actual delivery part of course.
So once my doc broke my water, I progressed steadily and was fully dilated/effaced by about midnight. That's when things got soo crazy exciting!
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| right before I started pushing. |
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| I was a ball of nerves and excitement! |
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| seconds after she was born...so amazing! |
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| love this one. Even though Halli looks miserable. |
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| our doc Dr. Heather Harrison. She's also our pediatrician =) We love her! |
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| Parents =) I was soo beyond excited to eat again! |
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| Tyler changing his FIRST diaper. EVER. |
With her grandmas..
And her grandpas..
Our last day at the hospital our friend/neighbor Madelyn came and took some pics. We love them!
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| just a tad exhausted/overwhelmed but so happy =) |
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| so beautiful |
to view more pics from the hospital click here
The birth went so amazingly well. I still can't believe it. Recovery has been going well also. Not the funnest at all...but no complications! Once that epidural wore off..I started to understand why women sit on donut cushions after birth...and swear by Tucks medicated pads and squirt water bottles. The only semi-complication was that I developed a face rash of broken blood vessels from pushing so hard.
I loved our hospital stay. All the nurses were so helpful and the food was fabulous. I got to order from a huge menu, every day three times a day. WOohoo! And we had so many fun visitors =)
big shout out to our good friends The Drew's
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| who got us these beautiful flowers |
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| this hospital survivor kit |
Halli weighed in at 6 lbs 11 oz upon leaving the hospital. I guess it's normal for them to lose weight after they're born and as long as they're back to their birth weight in two weeks, they're right on track.
I was really nervous to leave. I had no idea what to expect once we got home...and boy was I in for it!
Here are some pics once we got home
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| We've found out that she does not like her bassinet right now and we're working on this. But for now, this is all he'll sleep in at night. |
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| Singing time with Grandma =) |
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| never ending cycle of feeding, burping, changing, sleeping. |
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| Halli loved her first bath at home! |
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| We got her newborns done and here is a behind the scenes pic. We had to do two sessions because she wouldn't cooperate the first time. This is the second session..right after this photo was taken she peed all over the blanket. But at least she slept! |
Here is a link to view some of her newborns =) We love them!
Her first church outfit =) She did so well at church.
Yes, it's a miraculous thing having a baby that is all yours with the man you love. We love her so much and can't believe she's ours. She's so perfect.
But I'm going to be completely honest and tell it how it is. It's tough!
And the hormones do not help. The hormonal roller coaster does not end with the pregnancy. It keeps on going!
I am finally getting around to writing out my feelings/her coming into the world story. I love to blog but after Halli was born I realized, how am I ever going to have time to do anything ever again? Especially blog! It was overwhelming. Not only did I not have time, but my desire to do anything I once loved or needed to do wasn't there. I felt like a crazy person! I've had to work at it every day to not let my hormones/emotions/anxieties over come me and to just stay positive.
I could not have gotten through that first week without my moms, friends and most importantly TYLER. He's been amazing and I love seeing him with her. He is smitten with her and her perfect little nose, tiny ears and beautiful blue eyes =) As am I!
My mom and Tyler's mom came to stay with me for as long as they could which was only four nights collectively. Then with Tyler not having paid time off from work, he only took one day off. I was terrified of being alone and definitely wanted them here longer, but I knew that I had to learn that I could do it on my own.
But things are getting better day by day as Halli and I are learning and getting to know each other.
The hardest part has been breast feeding. Oh, Halli and I have shared many cries together trying to get it down. Right now she is dependent on the nipple shield. It seems like the day will never come where she will learn to latch on to my actual nipple. It's discouraging and I would love as many success stories/encouraging words from all my mommy friends out there please!!
I personally feel like I never hear/read about the challenging, hard part of the birth story. The "after birth" story. The part that everyone probably feels ashamed to share because shouldn't life just be blissful and perfect and everyone should be happy once you have your sweet baby in your arms? I know I feel slightly ashamed but i'd rather reach out to friends than suffer through this alone.
I have been to several lactation centers and one of them (cough WIC cough) made me feel like an awful mom! And that I missed my "window" to get her latched onto the nipple! It's not like i didn't try and try in the hospital! And that I needed to stop using the shield, pacifiers, etc and start trying every hour to get her latched on and if she didn't latch and got fussy to hand express my milk into a spoon and spoon feed her..are you kidding me?? They obviously do not care about my sanity!!!! Or Halli's sanity! Or Tyler's or anyone!! It was awful. And I lost my appetite for a few days. Until I saw a specialist who actually knew what she was talking about. Sheesh!
Everyone tells me it will get better! And i'm trying to enjoy Halli at this little precious age the best I can!
She had her two week appt yesterday and is 7 lbs 2.5 oz! Back to her birth weight yay! =) And she measures at 20.5 inches. Which makes me think they didn't stretch her all the way out at the hospital. Two in a half inch growth in two weeks? Yea right! So she is healthy and i need to stop stressing about if she's getting enough. I feel like my milk supply has dwindled because of the nipple shields. Halli will suck and pull away frustrated because the flow is not what she wants it to be or isn't there. So I started taking the herb Fenugreek to keep it up and i've been pumping every day after every feeding. At least I try. It is so time consuming!
My favorite part of the day is when Tyler comes home from work =) I have never loved weekends as much as I do now!! They are sent straight from heaven!
Can't wait for the 4th of july coming up so soon! It's the first time my family has all been together in 2 years!
Thanks all who took the time to read my ramblings. I just needed to get it all out. I would love to hear all your experiences. Unless they were 100% successful and hormone free.
Halli Ann tid bits:
Halli loves the sound of the breast pump. Her eyes instantly become heavy when i turn it on. She just loves white noise in general.
She snorts when she cries. She has the cutest/saddest little cry.
Loves bath time.
She is not a sound sleeper and makes lots of awake sounding noises in her sleep.
She responds to her Daddy's voice and touch =) So sweet.
I loved hearing the complete story since I wasn't able to be there with everyone! I'm sorry about some of the difficulties, though :( Unfortunately I don't have any "mommy advice" to give you but I think it's great you're so open about it and willing/hoping to hear anything that might help. Maybe we can plan a girls' night out there soon when you're feeling up to it!
ReplyDeleteSuch a neat birth story! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteI do want to put in my two cents on the breastfeeding issue. I went through the honest -to-goodness same exact thing with maxson. He never EVER latched to the real nipple, had to use the shield, and my milk supply dwindled. Eventually, at six months, my milk dried up entirely and we had to switch to formula. But before that, i endured 6 months of horrible stress and fighting with maxson trying to get him to nurse normally and in the end it didnt work. I just wished i had switched earlier and saved the stress and gotten to enjoy time with baby maxson instead of fighting him. Knowing we had to switch to formula anyways, it wouldve been easier to do it in the first place. BUT i dont want to discourage YOU. that was my experience. And now, Azalea is the best nurser ever and I'm enjoying that bonding experience with her. But this time, i knew if we did have to switch to formula, it wouldnt be the end of the world, and it wouldnt make me less of a mom. BREASTFEEDING IS HARD. and out of our control. And it's not your fault. And your next baby might be a pro. Just take it all in stride and realize that as much as we would like to be, we arent in control of everything our baby does. Hope this helped a little...you arent alone! Good luck girl!
Jenna used the nipple shield for almost 2 months. He latches like a pro now.
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath. You are doing fine. Noone knows Halli like you do. Lactation specialists read the books. If there was a book about you and Halli then you could listen to them. There isn't, so take a deep breath and do what feels right for you. You have a wonderful little family that is just oozing with cuteness and love. Cry when you want. Laugh when you want. Can't wait to see you at the reunion in August!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your little girl! I love all those pictures - she is such a beautiful baby. I'm sorry you're having a rough time breastfeeding. I admire you for being willing to open up and not pretend like everything is great. I hope things get better for you and Halli. You are already a great mom!
ReplyDeleteCan I just tell you are not alone in your breastfeeding struggles!! Your story sound exactly like mine. Not latching, becoming dependent on the nipple shield, my little guy fighting me with his entire body and all his strength everytime. I know people are probably telling you to just give up at this point and bottle feed but I think you should stick with it. My little man is seven weeks now and eats like a champ most of the time. It took him about five and a half weeks to finally get it but he did! We still have days where he struggles but for the most part he is great and completely off the shield. I feel for you. Nobody ever told me how hard breastfeeding could be so I didn't expect a thing so when he wouldn't latch I was devastated every time. Stick with it girl. She will get it!
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, Annie! You look amaaaazing for having just given birth!!
ReplyDeleteAll the hard stuff is what scares me about having babies.. and no one judges you for having normal experiences!! I'm so sorry you're feeling some post-partum depression. Be sure to see someone if you continue to feel that way- there is help. :) But you are just the best mom and the cutest parents! You'll get the hang of this thing, cute girl! You got this. :) I love reading birth stories. Congratulations on your beautiful, perfect baby girl! Pray for help and patience :) And don't be afraid to ask for help. I wish I could come hold her for a few mins so you could get something done or take a rest. But I know you have like a gazillion people willing to do that for you--so just ask!
:) Congratulations you guys. I hope you get into the swing of things soon! I'm praying for you.
On the white noise: there's a great app for that. Also, Athena (from our ward) used the nipple shield for a month with no permanent problems. Also, yes, emotional roller coaster. Try to get as much sunlight as possible, and short little walks too. Do not get trapped in the idea of keeping the window blinds closed because you're constantly having to expose yourself to breastfeed. Figure out a routine where you can get the sunlight your body needs to not feel depressed. I figured out places in our apartment where I could go to nurse and always have the windows open without anyone seeing me, and the very first week we got out for a short little walk. I was sore a bit after, but it felt amazing to just be able to walk without the baby weighing on me, and it cheered me up immensely.
ReplyDeleteThings will be fine. If you need any help let me know. I'm two minutes away.
Bah! CONGRATS!!! So happy everything went well. I'm glad that the epidural wasn't as bad as it sounds... that's probably the route I'm going to take! She is BEAUTIFUL! I love those darling newborn shots. Ahh!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear the after-birth has been tough. :( I'm sure that's how it is for a lot of people -- hopefully you don't feel alone in that! Thanks for sharing how it really is -- it's good to hear that, so I can expect it when I'm there in just a couple of weeks... :) I'm sure with time it'll get better. [at least that's what I'd tell myself ;)]
Best wishes for you & your sweet girl!!
ok those pictures of you RIGHT after giving birth? fake right? you look great;like you didn't just push a 7lb being out of your cooch. good heavens Annie. Keep up with the breastfeeding, it's the best thing you can do for Halli and don't feel inadequate or anything because "you're not good at it." like a previous comment says, sometimes its out of our (your) control. congrats Annie!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Halli's newborn pictures are SO precious! How photogenic she is. Those pictures are HA-MAZING! What an ADORABLE little girl!
ReplyDeleteNext, about her being a noisy sleeper. My boys have both been loud sleepers. And I think as a mother, we're programmed to wake up to their noises and check on them. This=CRAPPY sleep. I would feel like I hadn't slept. At. All. So my sister told me to use those earplugs they use for shooting-ya know those foam ones? I was SUPER hesitant at first. I felt like I'd be totally neglectful if I used earplugs-what if he did make a sound that really mattered and I didn't wake up for it?!? Well, after a few weeks of being a walking zombie my sister finally convinced me to try it. If I didn't like it or felt like I couldn't hear him I obviously wouldn't have to use them ever again. Oh my goodness. CHANGED MY LIFE!! They don't block out all sound. Just make things quieter. I still woke up when he was hungry. I just didn't wake up to the grunts and snores. I felt like for the first time with a newborn I actually could get small CHUNKS of sleep which surprisingly has made a HUGE difference. Just sayin :)
Breastfeeding IS hard and there are some breastfeeding NAZIS out there. Don't listen to them. One of my best friends used a nipple shield for the first few months and then she finally was able to latch all on her own. It will happen. NOT easy but it will happen. BUT if it's making you stressed beyond belief and you feel like you'd enjoy your baby more if you didn't have to stress about breastfeeding, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE if you formula feed. Seriously, all the kids out there who have had formula are FINE. They're smart, healthy and they love their mommies just as much. My advice would be to PRAY about it. I am confident Heavenly Father will direct you and comfort you :).
I'm so glad your birth story went well! The IV was bad for Spencer's birth too. I had a MASSIVE bruise for about two weeks afterwards that hurt bad. But I will also say that not all IVs are that bad. Hopefully next time you get a nurse who actually knows what she's doing! That's the worst when they put it in a spot that's no good. Eww, I cringe just thinking about it.
Anyways, loved reading your post. Life WILL get easier and once she gives you her first smiles and laughs it will ALL be worth it! :) So excited for you guys to experience that pure bliss!
I loved reading your story. It doesn't seem like long ago that I went through it for the first time and now it's only a few months away again! Reading this brought back so many memories and a little anxiety about it coming for round 2. Good luck with such a sweet princess!
ReplyDelete